Tell her she can't have a vagina
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
