two words: eviction party
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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