Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
