So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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