I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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