Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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