Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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