is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
