New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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