tell your sister to shave her snatch
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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