I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
