He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
