Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
