i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
