My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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