My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
