I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
