I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I could make wine with my vomit
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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