either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
