WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
