Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
