It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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