lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
