I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
