Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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