i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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