Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
