Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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