Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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