I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
