I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
