all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Randomize
