Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
