I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
