Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
