Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
