; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
