I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
