this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize