We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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