Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
