dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
