are you still at the devil's house?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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