alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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