I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
