we have pet lesbian snakes
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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