Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
