I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
wow bdsm is so cute
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
