And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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