We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
