He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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