Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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