you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
