Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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