My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
