Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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