I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
