cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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