The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize