Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
