hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
