I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
