its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
