Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize