im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
