when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
