TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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