I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
