If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
