the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
